When I Float Away, That'll Be The Day
*BLOG MAY BE TRIGGERING*
I just want to be happy.
SW: 125 lbs
CW: 123
GW1: 115
GW2: 110
UGW: 100
Height: 5'2
message archive home theme
therapist: you look really well!
family members: you look so much better!
doctor: you look really healthy!
me:
ed: hahahaahahahahahahahahahhaahahaha you're fat
recoverthehealthyway
Holy shit.

A few days of eating like a normal person

and I’ve gained weight.

What? Does my body want me to torture it? This really makes no sense.

And I don’t want this “it’s just water weight blah blah” crap because it isn’t. I can feel the fat on my body. It’s visible. This fat wasn’t here 4 days ago. I’m so done. So fucking done. What’s the point of eating normally if my body clearly doesn’t want me to recover? 

God knows I’m throwing the scale away.

I was thisclose to posting a picture of my stomach but I hit cancel.

Why?

1) I’ll get hate

2) I’m not perfect let alone pleasant to look at

3) What if someone I know recognizes my nastyness?

4) I’m just gross in general